It Was Always You
by Darley1101
Summary: A collection of Alex and Izzie one shots that I have written over the years. New ones to be added periodically 7/10-Life: Post S5, Izzie's near death encounter with George in the elevator.
1. It Was Always You

Author's Note: Those of you familiar with my writing know I always start a story out with the title, characters, rating, etc. The reason I chose not to do so this time is this isn't a story, it is a collection of Alex and Izzie one shots. Most were written ages ago, some going as far back as season two. I will be adding to them periodically. The reason I chose to put my one shots under one title is to make finding and reading them easier. Most are not connected. If ever there is one that is connected to another I will sub-link or make note of that fact at the beginning. I hope you enjoy them! C.

Title: It Was Always You

Author: Darley1101

Rating: PG 13 (slight sexual reference)

Premise: Season Four, Alex and Izzie talk about George, Rebecca, and how they feel about one another.

A sliver of moonlight cut through the cracked blinds of the nearby window. It caught in her short blonde curls, giving them a slight silvery cast. The silver frost expanded onto the creamy skin of her neck and the bit of flesh left exposed by her tank top, which had drooped around her cleavage and ridden up on her abdomen. Her full lips parted slightly, a soft moan escaping.

Tightening his grip on the door frame, Alex told himself it was wrong. He shouldn't be there, watching her sleep. Yet, it felt right, in a sick, twisted way. His hazel gaze couldn't be torn, and when she shifted around, kicking one leg out from under the covers, he sucked in his breath. When she moaned again, he let out a soft groan with her.

"Alex," she mumbled. His body froze. At first he thought maybe, just maybe, she had said his name in her sleep. In the pale moonlight he seen her push herself up on her elbows, one blonde curl falling over her right eye. "Everything okay?"

Gulping, Alex forced himself to nod. In rising, her already drooping top had fallen even further down, exposing more of her breasts. How he longed to slide his hands under that dark colored top, to fill his hands with the large globes of her breasts, to take his fingers and toy with her nipples until they puckered. "Everything is fine," he said hoarsely. "Just couldn't sleep."

"Oh," Izzie yawned, her body falling back onto the mattress. "Hmm. You come sleep here." She patted the empty space next to her, then rolled onto her stomach. One side of her panties had ridden up the soft curve of her ass, taunting him, instilling the need to tuck his fingers under the lacy edge and slide the cotton material back into place, if not off her lithe body entirely. "Come on. Come to bed." Her arm patted the space again.

Say no, his mind ordered. His body was moving toward the bed though. He took a deep breath, told himself he was just going to lay next to her, on his side of the bed, and sleep; just sleep. The air gushed out of his mouth as he gingerly laid back. He stared up at the ceiling. There was nothing interesting up there, unless he counted the start of a cobweb. Still, as long as he focused on the ceiling he wouldn't be focusing on the woman lying next to him. He stifled a groan when she rolled, her body coming up flush against his. One leg snaked up and over his thighs, an arm slapped across his chest. Why hadn't he remembered what a restless sleeper Izzie was?

"Missed this," she mumbled, then yawned, her breath hot on his neck. Tentatively, he wrapped an arm around her waist. She snuggled closer, her breasts rubbing against his chest. He could feel the hard pebbles that were her nipples straining through the thin fabric of her shirt. "Missed you to."

He tightened his hold on her. He had missed her as well, had missed holding her in his arms. He turned his face, burying his nose in her silky curls. The scent of fruit assailed his nostrils. She had always smelled like some fruit. Tonight's scent of choice had been green apple, making him crave a kiss, just to see if she tasted the way she smelled. "Missed you too," he echoed.

Her head lifted a bit, her chin resting on his chest. Gently, her fingers stroked back and forth across his chest. He could feel her staring at him intently. "I really have missed this…missed you." He is a bit taken aback by the clarity in her voice. The sleepiness was still there, but so was an alertness that said she wasn't speaking in her sleep. "I know that I have said some things in the past that weren't, well, very nice, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. They're not true."

Alex wasn't sure what to say. He had always assumed she had meant every word, that that was her actual opinion of her. He had tried not to hold it against her, yet he had. Every time she smiled at him, he could hear her telling him that he was a horrible person, that he deserved to be alone. He hadn't wanted to replay those awful words, there had just been no shutting them off. Over and over, like a broken record.

"I always assumed you knew that, until Rebecca told you she was pregnant." Her fingers kept moving, back and forth, leaving a tingly trail across his skin. "I wanted to tell you she wasn't. I couldn't though. I had made this promise, to Bailey and myself, that I would try and be a better doctor, that I would keep things confidential."

"I understood." Alex said quietly. He had understood. She had been doing her job. It wasn't anything he wouldn't have done.

"Really? I was so worried you wouldn't. It killed me, seeing you making all those plans when there was nothing to plan for. And then when you accused me of not being happy for you…that stung. I won't lie, it hurt. Because if there had been a baby I would have tried to of been happy for you."

"Tried?" Alex frowned. There it was again, that voice telling him she thought he was worthless and why wouldn't she feel the same about any child he had. A lump formed in his throat. Despite the broken record in his head, he had still held onto the feelings. No amount of trying had rid him of them. In fact, they had grown stronger. Even when he had found out about her and George, he had loved her. Love. He knew now that the feelings were just that. He loved her, even if she would never love him back.

"Yeah. Tried. Not because of you, but her. She wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth caring about as much as you did. She didn't love you. Not like you deserve." The conviction in her voice startled him. He adjusted his head so they facing one another. He was a bit surprised to find their faces only a half of an inch apart. "I…I guess, also because I was jealous."

Hands down, that single word stunned him more than anything else she had said. "Why?" Mentally, he kicked himself for asking. He wouldn't get the answer he wanted, that she had wanted to be the one.

"It wasn't George. He wasn't the one I wanted to move on with, but…you had said there was someone else and…" Her voice trailed off, her head ducking down so that their foreheads were pressed together. "I kept thinking about how you had moved on and I was alone. I didn't want to be alone anymore. And, I don't why I picked George. No. Wait. I didn't pick him, pick him. Not really. I guess the alcohol did. I can't say that I regret it though. It made me realize that my life could go on and that I was ready to move on. Not with him though. I realize that now. I think I always have." He wasn't quite sure he understood. He knew what he thought he was hearing, but was it really what she was saying? Or was it just what his bruised and aching heart wanted to hear. "I wanted you. I wanted to be able to move on with you. I wanted to see where we ended up this time. To start over. Forget about Olivia and Denny. Well, forget them as much as we could. Only you had Rebecca and I wasn't going to be that woman. Not again. The woman who stole some else's man." His though constricted. She was saying it. She was saying the words he had longed to hear. "Do…do you think…that maybe…some day?"

"No," he said firmly. She started to move, her body trembling. He could tell from the shaking that she was trying to not cry. "I don't need to wait for someday." Using the tips of two fingers, he raised her chin so they were once again face to face. "It was always you," he murmured before capturing her lips in a kiss.


	2. Cupcake Intervention

Title: Cupcake Intervention

Author: Darley1101

Rating: PG 13 (language and adult references)

Premise: Season Four, a disagreement sends Izzie into a baking flurry and leaves Alex trying to clean up the mess he made.

The scent of baking chocolate waived through out the house, rousing Alex from a slumber he wasn't sure he wanted to be roused from. Groaning, he swung his stiff body over the side of the bed. Sure or not, it was time; time to go through the motions of life, if for no other reason than to keep Izzie off his back. She had turned maternal on him, offering to do even the most simplest of things for him. He had gotten rather nasty with her last night, yelling that he didn't need her to hold his fucking hand while he took a piss. He hadn't meant to be such an ass, but damn it he didn't need her hovering.

"She's baking," Meredith whispered when Alex emerged from his room. She was standing at the top of the stairs, wearing the long sleeved, too large Dartmouth t shirt and plaid flannel pants she always wore to bed, her arms crossed.

"So," Alex grumbled. He stifled a yawn, grimacing when he caught a whiff of his breath. First order of business would be a shower and brushing his teeth. With any luck Izzie, and her cupcakes, would be gone when he got out.

"You weren't here. When Denny died. She went cupcake and muffin crazy. Dozens and dozens of them." Meredith said lowly. Her large green eyes were filled with concern and confusion. "She only bakes when something's wrong. When she's upset or hurt." Lifting one slender hand, she batted some knotted dark blonde hair off her face. "I just can't figure out what set her off. She hasn't said anything to you, has she?" Alex remained silent. Izzie hadn't said anything to him, but he knew the cause of her hurt none the less. It was him. He had hurt her. She had tried to be there for him, to be his friend, and he had thrown her compassion back in her face. "No? Well, guess I had best go find out. Can't have her baking all day."

"All day?" Alex asked weakly. Meredith nodded, and then told him it was Izzie's day off, which meant she could get a lot of cupcakes baked. "I'll talk to her," he said finally. The relief that flashed across Meredith's face told him how bad his task was going to be.

"Good luck with that," Meredith patted his arm, and then turned to walk down the hallway and into the bathroom. He scowled. Great. He had hoped to get his shower in before having to corral Izzie's baking.

Alex sighed, running a hand over his short dark hair, and then started down the stairs. His pace slowed the closer he drew to the kitchen. Whether it was his fault or not, he wasn't looking forward to staging a cupcake intervention. "Morning," he said cautiously after he entered the kitchen. The sight before him took his breath away. Almost every inch of counter space was covered with cooling cupcakes. Chocolate, vanilla, confetti, chocolate chip, as well as several that he did not recognize. "Wow. That's…um…a lot of cupcakes." Izzie raised her head from the bowl of batter she was stirring. The dark, rich brown revealed it to be chocolate of some sort. She narrowed her eyes, muttered something under her breath, and then looked back down. Chunks of her blonde hair hung around her flushed face, some sticking to her neck. He couldn't be sure, but it looked like there was flour in the left portion. "So, what's the occasion?" She didn't look up, didn't acknowledge that she had heard him. "Come on Iz, you not talking to me now?"

The stirring stopped. She let the spoon fall from her hand, the wooden handle making a soft clattering sound against the side of the ceramic mixing bowl. "I wouldn't want you to accuse me of trying to help you take a piss," she snapped, grabbing the spoon back up.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Alex stepped closer to where she stood. She had yet to resume her stirring, just stood there holding the spoon. "I don't have any excuse just that I'm going through a rough time right now and I lashed out."

"Rough time? You're going through a rough time so that gives you the right to treat me like crap when I'm only trying to help?" The spoon clattered down again. She came around the counter, revealing that she only wore a Hello Kitty tank top and a pair of barely there pink shorts. "I have had it with trying to be your friend!" Her arm raised, he braced himself for the smack, only it never came. Instead, she jabbed a finger into his shoulder. "I was your friend when nobody liked you. I gave you a chance when most women thought you were an ass, and how did you repay me? You screwed George's syph nurse!" Her voice had taken on a shrill quality, it was all he could do not to grit his teeth and wince. "Sure, I might have been in the wrong with how I acted over the whole Denny thing, but you didn't even give me five seconds to grief him before trying to pounce. I trusted you, leaned on you and you blind side me with this…this kiss and just expect me to forget all about Denny." Another jab and she was stepping closer and closer, her body barely two inches from his. "I told you I wasn't ready, not that I wasn't interested, just not ready. And what do you do? You move with psycho ferry boat chick, leaving me to get drunk and wake up naked with George! George, Alex! I woke up naked with George and thinking it must mean something because, hey, I wouldn't have slept with my married best friend if it didn't!" The shriek had turned into a full blown yell that had him wanting to clap his hands over his ears, that or yell back. He did neither, just stood there, letting her jab her finger into the same spot over and over again while she yelled. "I freaking talked myself into thinking I was in love with him just so I could pretend I moved on. Well, guess what? It didn't work. The sex was crappy and George wasn't as lovable as I thought." She paused, taking a breath, no doubt so she could let him have it again. "Through out all that I was your friend. I was your freaking friend even though I didn't want to be! And how do you repay me? You refuse to listen to me. You call me a bitch. You threaten to hit me. You made me kiss you…okay maybe not made, but close enough…and I still stood by you. Only to have you accuse me of wanting to hold your hand while you take a piss. Well guess what, you don't have to worry about that anymore, because I am tired of pretending to be your friend!"

Pretending to be his friend. The words slammed into his gut like a knife. Pain seared through him, along with panic. He couldn't imagine a life without Izzie in it. "I'm sorry," he whispered, hating the lump that was forming in his throat. He had cried in front of her once, he wouldn't do it again; not when he didn't have the story of his mother to hide behind.

"Sorry? You're sorry! I don't care. I am tired of being hurt, Alex, which seems to be all you're capable of doing. Hurting and not listening." She moved away, shaking her head. Her large dark eyes looked ready to spill over. "I said I wasn't ready, not that I wasn't interested," she said softly, still shaking her head. "Not ready and not interested are two different things, but I guess in your book their not."

Izzie strode back over to where her cupcake batter stood, and picked the spoon back up. Alex stood there in shock, trying to process everything she had just said. At first he couldn't' move past her saying she was pretending to be his friend, and then, slowly, it all started to fall into place. "Izzie?" She looked up, glaring. "You care about me, don't you?" Her eyes narrowed into two, glittering slits. He wanted to laugh. It was hysterical. All this time. She had cared about him all this time. Not as a friend either. "You do. You care about me."

"I cared about Meredith's stupid dog, too, so don't let it go to your head or think that it means something," Izzie sputtered, her cheeks flushing more than they already had been.

"You care," Alex grinned. She cared about him. Hell, she might even love him, but he wasn't going to go down that path just yet. "Come on, admit it!" He moved closer to her, standing by her side. She looked as though she wanted to hit him with the spoon. "Come on, Iz, just admit it. You'll feel better. Just repeat after me: Alex, I care about you."

For a minute he thought she was going to pick the bowl of batter up and dump it over his head. She didn't; she stared at him, a thoughtful look on her face, which quickly turned to horror. "Oh God. I care about you. You!" Not exactly the reaction he had hoped for. She moaned, pushing the bowl away and almost running from the kitchen. He thought about stopping her, but refrained. She cared about him, it was enough for now. Now, being the next ten minutes. He would let her calm down and digest, then he would tell her he cared to.


	3. Life

Title: Life

Author: Darley1101

Rating: PG

Premise: Post Season 5 Finale, my take on what could have happened when Izzie went into the white light engulfed elevator.

It wasn't suppose to be this way. With trembling fingers, Izzie's hand hovered near the glowing buttons on the panel of elevator controls. There weren't any numbers, which was another good indicator that it wasn't suppose to be this way. She was suppose to be in her husband's arms, laughing over his ridiculous plot to either smother her with a pillow or overdose her on morphine, and planning a real honeymoon. It wouldn't have mattered where they went, they wouldn't have left the hotel room.

"It shouldn't be this way," she whispered, blinking back tears she knew couldn't be there. Her fingers shook harder as she tried to force them to push the up button. That was where she was suppose to go, wasn't it? She had been a good person and she believed in a higher power, which meant she was going up. So why couldn't she bring herself to push the button? Why couldn't she accept that this was how it was?

The doors slid open, almost blinding her with the flash of light that burst into the elevator car. There was an outline of a man, too short to be Denny, only who else could it be? The light started to dim, revealing the last person she expected to greet her at the gats of Heaven. "George?"

"Hello, Izzie." He smiled that sweet smile she knew so well. It was more prominent with his crew style hair cut. "You're on the wrong floor."

"I am?" She looked at the control panel again, trying to make sense of the glowing buttons. There was only one left: life.

"You are," George said softly. His smile turned a bit bittersweet. "You have so much life left to live, Izzie."

"I do?" Izzie had a hard time believing what he was saying, after all she was standing there about to go into the white light. A white light he shouldn't be in. "Why are you here George? I was expecting Denny, or maybe Alex's grandma if he wasn't available. Somebody dead."

"I am, Iz. I am dead."

Shaking her head, Izzie stared at him in horror, seeing him for the first time since the doors opened. It wasn't just the hair that was different, his usual garb was too. Gone were his comfortable jeans and well worn vintage style shirts. In their place was what looked like an Army Uniform. And then she remembered. The green flash card that said O'Malley joined the military. "Have I been waiting for awhile? Did you go to war and die?"

"No," he laughed, shaking his head. "I pushed a silly girl out of the way of a bus. I was a hero Iz. I was a hero once before I died."

"You were always a hero," she choked out, bending forward slightly as she sobbed. Tears for the life she could have had with Alex. Tears for the life George could have had. Tears for the unfairness of it all. "It isn't fair! We shouldn't be here!"

"You shouldn't be here," he corrected, reaching inside to push the remaining button. "Live for us both!"

She started to protest, to beg him to get into the elevator with her. Her words died on her lips though as the world burst into a thousand shooting stars, jolting through her body.

"We have a pulse," a familiar voice yelled. Bailey. It was Bailey.

Struggling through the fog that surrounded her brain, Izzie fought to open her eyes. She squinted and then blinked as she was able to half way focus on the tear streaked face hovering near her's. A smile spread across her lips. "I thought I said not to do anything crazy," she coughed out.

Alex let out a half laugh, half sob. "I didn't." He clasped her clammy feeling hand in his own. She could feel his tremors shooting up her arm. "Crazy would be letting you go."


End file.
